Tag: FictionPodcast

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 12

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Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 12

ORIGINAL DATE: 17 October 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and under)

Hello. This is Celia Court for The 3:57. The regular host, William Spear, is still suffering from quote “too many milkshakes” endquote. Wink, wink. Maxie offered to host again but, candidly, I am better.

And welcome back to our current series called IT SUITS CELIA. Actually, the title is IT SUITS HER.

My boss, Mr. Clarkson, nicknamed The Porcupine, has returned to the Smart Styles tailoring shop and HE IS MAD! I lied about his wife calling to make him leave, I didn’t close the shop on time, and a customer, Maxie Williams, is still here.

He also took a few shots at Maxie’s career ending over a decade ago and about being a drunk. I was annoyed Maxie hadn’t volunteered that information himself.

Mr. Clarkson’s prickly cross-examination was like cutting a cake with a chain saw: pieces went flying everywhere. Listen here for the details of . . . Episode Twelve of IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

The Porcupine, uh, Mr. Clarkson, repeated itself: “Miss Court, why didn’t you close the shop as I instructed you?”

“I tried,” I said.

“Then how’d the drunk get in here?” he demanded.

Maxie rolled his eyes and said it was enough with the drunk lines already.

I told Mr. Clarkson he walked in before I could get the key.

“To sleep off a bender?” growled Clarkson.

Maxie explained he stopped to pick up his suit for an audition, then looked at his watch, and said, “Holy schmoly, look at the time.”

I went to get Maxie’s suit but Mr. Clarkson stopped me.

“Please,” begged Maxie. “Just . . . let . . . me . . . have it.”

The Porcupine wasn’t budging so I played to its ego: “(SING-SONGY) He’s-a-big-movie-star. It’ll-be-good-for-business.”

Mr. Clarkson mocked me: “No-no-no-no-no-no-no.”

Maxie mocked both of us: “Oh-for-crying-out-loud.”

I offered a compromise: “He’ll stand here all night and you’ll never close.”

Mr. Clarkson grudgingly realized the difficulty of his position: “All right. Give him the suit and get my money.”

Maxie turned to me: “How much does it come to?” and I turned to Mr. Clarkson: “What does he owe?”

Mr. Clarkson spoke through gritted teeth: “Seventeen-fifty.”

The merry-go-round spun again. Maxie turned to me: “All I have is a twenty. I swiveled to Mr. Clarkson: “All he has is twenty dollars.”

Quills flew from Mr. Clarkson: “There’s a two-fifty late fee!”

Maxie handed me the twenty dollar bill and, with a sly wink and grin, wondered if he could get a receipt. I signaled my understanding, accepted my role, and turned around: “Can he . . . ?”

Mount Porcupine erupted: “No! To the drunk: You have your suit, get out! To you, Miss Court: Grab your coat. You’re fired! To both of you: GOOD-BYE!”

With that, Clarkson, now my ex-boss, pushed us out of the Smart Styles tailoring shop, and slammed shut the door.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Twelve of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin and additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening. And, by the way, look out for any stray quills from Mount Porcupine.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 11

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Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 11

ORIGINAL DATE: 10 October 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello. I’m Maxie Williams and this is The 3:57 by William E. Spear. Normally Spear is the host but he had too much milkshake and asked me to step in. This is our current series called IT SUITS HER.

I was within moments of getting my suit when Mr. Clarkson, owner of Smart Styles tailoring shop and Celia’s boss, returned.

Clarkson is not pleased about Celia’s lie earlier in the evening to get him out of the shop. He is further displeased about the shop not being closed.

Clarkson’s return is like pulling a loose thread: everything unravels. Listen to the details here on . . . Episode Eleven of IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

It’s me, Maxie Williams, again. I am still without my suit, late for my audition, and now dealing with Miss Court’s boss.

It’s a trifecta of aggravation and Mr. Clarkson is leading the pack.

Clarkson barged in and barked at Miss Court: “You have a lot of explaining to do. First, my wife never called.”

“I can explain,” said Miss Court.

“Second,” continued Clarkson slightly louder. “The shop isn’t closed.”

“That can be explained, too,” she added.

“And, third,” said Clarkson at full volume and turning to look at me. “Who’s this guy?”

Celia answered that one right away: “He’s Argosy Williams.”

Clarkson’s confused face echoed in his voice: “Who is Argosy Jones?”

Celia and I slapped our foreheads into our palms and spoke together: “Williams. Argosy Williams.”

She went on alone: “Mr. Williams is a movie actor.”

Her boss bellowed: “Him? He hasn’t made a movie in ten years.”

I corrected him and said I made one eight years ago but it was really bad. Really, really bad.

“He says he was a big star,” chimed in Celia.

“WAS a star,” said Mr. Clarkson. “Now he’s a Has-Been.”

I made a mental note about not offering him a signed photograph.

Clarkson had mostly sprayed his venom at me. But I’ve had critics say worse. . . . I’ve also had family say worse.

Then he crossed the line. With all the pleasantry of being slapped in the face by a porcupine, he turned on Celia and said: “And you, Miss Court, are a Never-Will-Be.”

I stepped toward Clarkson and growled: “There is no need to address Miss Court in that manner.”

“Listen pal,” he said. “You drank yourself out of your career. Get out of my shop before I call the police.”

Celia turned to me and said: “You didn’t say anything about being a drunk.”

Well, it’s not exactly a resumé moment I confessed.

The Porcupine spoke again: “And, Miss Court, why you didn’t close the shop?”

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Eleven of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin and additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 10

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Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 10

ORIGINAL DATE: 3 October 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello and welcome to IT SUITS HER . . . the current series from The 3:57 by me, William E. Spear.

The bloom of friendship between Celia and Maxie has wilted under the raging frost of their mutually-inflicted antagonism.

What started as caustic barbs interrupted by moments of civility now lacks any human qualities.

Can it get any worse? Listen to Episode Ten of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Maxie angrily reminded Celia her parents probably wanted to be there for her but didn’t know how.

Celia, with equal anger, threw back that all they had to do was ask!

She was cut off by Maxie’s fury: “It’s not that easy!”

(Theme for Maxie’s Regret comes up and under)

She let him speak.

He stepped away and reduced the chance of further damage by collecting his thoughts and carefully choosing his words: “My friends and I started with nothing but endless auditions. Eventually, I got some roles . . . starting making a name for myself.”

She leaned forward with interest. Not too much, but enough to encourage his monologue.

(Theme for Maxie’s Regret goes out)

“Then a bit of success came along and things changed. I was meeting new people who wanted me to be gracious and witty like the characters I played. A cocktail in my hand and a charming comment on my lips. I went to their parties, made them laugh, and got my picture in the paper. The roles got bigger and the success even more so. But my old friends were gone.”

“Go on,” she said, curious where his biography was going.

“I couldn’t keep it going. I’d slip out a side door to get away from the crowds and be gone for days. After a while, the parts stopped coming and I made new friends with outstanding varieties of Irish whiskey. That’s when I realized I could never be something I wasn’t. I was a nothing.”

Celia interpreted his “nothing” comment personally: “My parents were something; you’re the nothing.”

“I didn’t push a daughter out of my life.”

“All they had to do was ask for help.”

“They didn’t have the guts.”

Celia crumbled emotionally: “Leave them alone.”

Maxie had evened the score and leveled his opponent. However, he was not proud of either fact.

He paused, then gently approached her: “Miss Court, I’m sorry, really sorry.”

No response.

“Miss Court?”

Again no response.

“Pardon me, Miss Court.”

Her hostility flickered: “What.”

He confessed he needed her help.

Her hostility burned more brightly: “How?”

He reminded her of his suit for his audition. “It’s getting late,” he said. “And I’d like to . . .”

Celia cut him off but her hostility was dimmed: “Yeah, sure. It’s in the back room. Give me a minute to get it.”

That’s when Mr. Clarkson returned.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Ten of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin and additional music is by Lesfm. Theme for Maxie’s Regret is by Harumachi Music. All are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 09

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Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 09

ORIGINAL DATE: 26 September 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello and welcome to The 3:57 by William E. Spear. I am the host of the program and this is our series IT SUITS HER.

Celia and Maxie have connected through a bittersweet moment in their past. Maxie shared a scene from his greatest film triumph and Celia told how the same scene played out with her leaving her parents.

How long will the rose petals and angel choirs last? Find out in Episode Nine of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

The details of Celia’s final time seeing her parents were told to Maxie: “My dad admitted he and mom were phonies. I packed my bags, got on a train, and moved to the city.”

Her word words hung in the air for Maxie to consider: “How long ago was that?”

“Five years,” she said.

Maxie went on: “Did you tell them you moved to Flemington?”

She shook her head “No.”

Maxie thought the actions were extreme and said so.

Celia spoke of getting tired of them be pretending to be something they weren’t. “I couldn’t listen to them anymore,” she said.

Maxie added that some people have to project a certain image.

“There was never a need impress me,” was her counter.

“They must have had their reasons,” said Maxie.

Celia was having none of his explanations. “How can you defend them?” she demanded.

“I never met your parents. How could I?” was his response.

She pushed back and accused him being sympathetic towards them.

It was Maxie’s turn to push back: “How could I have sympathy for someone I never met?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “But you are very good at it.”

Maxie slapped his forehead into his palm. He took a breath and approached the point from a different angle. “Perhaps,” he said, slowing down. “They thought it was in your best interest.”

Celia resumed her attack: “My best interest was to watch movies, eat popcorn, and laugh.”

Maxie increased his volume: “There’s more to life than watching movies.”

“Said the failed actor,” retaliated Celia.

He was speechless but she was not: “All I ever wanted was to ride our bikes down the shore and get pretzels on the boardwalk.”

“They probably wanted to do but didn’t know how,” he said.

Celia let loose the full intensity of her hurt: “All they had to do was ask!”

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Nine of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin and additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 08

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Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 08

ORIGINAL DATE: 19 September 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello. I am William Spear and the host of The 3:57. This is our series IT SUITS HER.

Once again the common ground between Celia and Maxie is trampled upon. This time, his gesture of good will toward her parents caused Celia to reveal they have been gone for years.

Will their relationship survive another setback?

It’s emotional wounds and bandages galore in Episode Eight of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Celia’s whispered revelation about her parents rocked Maxie.

He matched her hushed volume and added sympathy: “I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.”

Celia brightened immediately: “They’re still alive but I don’t see them anymore.”

(Theme for Celia’s Sorrow comes up and under)

Maxie’s head was spinning from the rapid change of emotional direction. “What happened?”

“They were always bragging about who they knew or what parties they were going to,” she said. “One night they came home and dropped names in front of my friends for over an hour.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” said Maxie.

She plowed on: “Every name that came out of their mouths included who they worked for, salary, the size of their house, where they vacationed, and the type of car they drove. When another hour went by, I called them phonies. My dad laughed at me and said, “If you’ll excuse us . . .””

She was interrupted by Maxie: “If you’ll excuse us, Sarah, I fear you’ve realized what we’ve worked so hard to keep hidden from you.”

Celia’s amazement filled the tailoring shop. “How could you know that? Okay there is one correction: My dad used my name. But . . . ,” she continued. “How did you know?

(Theme for Celia’s Sorrow goes out)

The line between re-telling and re-living his past was blurred. Maxie spoke: “It’s one of the scenes from THE TERMINUS. My character – Jonathan Talmadge – was a nothing married to a nobody. He and his wife dragged their daughter around the world for twenty years convincing everyone they belonged in elite society.”

Celia’s attention was sky-high. It was like she was being told her own life story.

Maxie continued: “One night in Europe – Stockholm, I think – they were heading out to a fancy dress ball and their daughter, Sarah, confronted them. Called them phonies and said she was tired of their stories. Then she . . .”

It was Celia’s turn to interrupt and re-live and re-tell the past: “Then she packed her bags, got on a train, and left. That’s what I did – packed my bags and moved to the city.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Eight of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin and additional music is by Lesfm. Theme for Celia’s Sorrow is by Harumachi Music. All are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 07

~~

Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 07

ORIGINAL DATE: 12 September 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello. I am William Spear and the host of The 3:57. This is our series IT SUITS HER.

For the first time since meeting each other, Celia and Maxie were having a civil, rather than caustic, conversation. UNTIL Maxie told Celia he used to be a big star and asked how big she was. When she said, “A size nine” Maxie flew off the handle.

Listen as they struggle to repair, rather than re-aggravate, their moment in Episode Seven of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Maxie snapped at her: “When I asked how big you are I wasn’t asking about your clothing size.”

He immediately realized his mistake: “I’m sorry. What I meant was, “What have you accomplished with your life?””

Celia took a deep breath and began: “I’m working this job to continue in college. I got my technical degree in computer science and now I’m going for a bachelor’s in international business.”

She grabbed another gulp of air: “I’ve got pretty good grades and someday I’ll go for my Masters. My goal is to be President of my own global business.”

One more breath: “And my friends call me Ceel . . . short for Celia.”

He congratulated her, “Very impressive, Celia.”

“Please call me Ceel. I insist.”

“Ceel. I wish you nothing but success.”

She accepted the well-wishes graciously: “Thank you.”

Common ground was forming between them and Maxie cautiously stepped onto it.

He asked about the movies she watched with her parents.

Celia gushed they watched tons of them.

Maxie wondered if they ever saw THE CORSAGE? “No” was her response.

“How about A CONTINENTAL AFFAIR or MANNERS, ALWAYS MANNERS?” he asked. “No” and “No said Celia.

“THE TERMINUS?”

Celia brightened like a Christmas tree: “That was their favorite movie.”

Maxie informed her he was in that.

Celia’s disbelief bubbled up: “As what – a bit player or an extra?”

“I was Jonathan Talmadge,” announced Maxie.

Celia was overwhelmed: “You . . .? You were Jonathan Talmadge? In THE TERMINUS?”

“That’s me,” said Maxie.

Celia gushed she and her parents saw it a hundred times. “My Dad,” she continued. “Always said he hoped to be half the gentleman you were.”

It was Maxie’s turn to gush: “I’m sure he’s more of a gentleman than any movie character. I have a few photographs from the picture if your folks would like one autographed.”

Celia stepped away and stood silently.

Maxie stared at the back of her head and, at length, cleared his throat.

She turned and whispered, “They’ve been gone for years.”

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Seven of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin. Additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)