Tuesday 17 October – IT SUITS HER, Episode Twelve

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 12

~~

Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 12

ORIGINAL DATE: 17 October 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and under)

Hello. This is Celia Court for The 3:57. The regular host, William Spear, is still suffering from quote “too many milkshakes” endquote. Wink, wink. Maxie offered to host again but, candidly, I am better.

And welcome back to our current series called IT SUITS CELIA. Actually, the title is IT SUITS HER.

My boss, Mr. Clarkson, nicknamed The Porcupine, has returned to the Smart Styles tailoring shop and HE IS MAD! I lied about his wife calling to make him leave, I didn’t close the shop on time, and a customer, Maxie Williams, is still here.

He also took a few shots at Maxie’s career ending over a decade ago and about being a drunk. I was annoyed Maxie hadn’t volunteered that information himself.

Mr. Clarkson’s prickly cross-examination was like cutting a cake with a chain saw: pieces went flying everywhere. Listen here for the details of . . . Episode Twelve of IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

The Porcupine, uh, Mr. Clarkson, repeated itself: “Miss Court, why didn’t you close the shop as I instructed you?”

“I tried,” I said.

“Then how’d the drunk get in here?” he demanded.

Maxie rolled his eyes and said it was enough with the drunk lines already.

I told Mr. Clarkson he walked in before I could get the key.

“To sleep off a bender?” growled Clarkson.

Maxie explained he stopped to pick up his suit for an audition, then looked at his watch, and said, “Holy schmoly, look at the time.”

I went to get Maxie’s suit but Mr. Clarkson stopped me.

“Please,” begged Maxie. “Just . . . let . . . me . . . have it.”

The Porcupine wasn’t budging so I played to its ego: “(SING-SONGY) He’s-a-big-movie-star. It’ll-be-good-for-business.”

Mr. Clarkson mocked me: “No-no-no-no-no-no-no.”

Maxie mocked both of us: “Oh-for-crying-out-loud.”

I offered a compromise: “He’ll stand here all night and you’ll never close.”

Mr. Clarkson grudgingly realized the difficulty of his position: “All right. Give him the suit and get my money.”

Maxie turned to me: “How much does it come to?” and I turned to Mr. Clarkson: “What does he owe?”

Mr. Clarkson spoke through gritted teeth: “Seventeen-fifty.”

The merry-go-round spun again. Maxie turned to me: “All I have is a twenty. I swiveled to Mr. Clarkson: “All he has is twenty dollars.”

Quills flew from Mr. Clarkson: “There’s a two-fifty late fee!”

Maxie handed me the twenty dollar bill and, with a sly wink and grin, wondered if he could get a receipt. I signaled my understanding, accepted my role, and turned around: “Can he . . . ?”

Mount Porcupine erupted: “No! To the drunk: You have your suit, get out! To you, Miss Court: Grab your coat. You’re fired! To both of you: GOOD-BYE!”

With that, Clarkson, now my ex-boss, pushed us out of the Smart Styles tailoring shop, and slammed shut the door.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Twelve of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin and additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening. And, by the way, look out for any stray quills from Mount Porcupine.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES