THE MESSENGER – ROMANCE 20 MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE, Episode 02

Written and Narrated by William E. Spear

Produced by The Three Fifty-seven

25 February 2024

(Cold opening)

Yeah, it’s me, The Messenger. Or, what’s left of me.

My old Boss asked me out of retirement for a new assignment then digitized me into a computer. Maybe I’ll re-format The Firm’s hard drives.

(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future comes up)

Hello my name is William Spear and this is our series titled ROMANCE 20 MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE.

The Messenger was encouraged – maybe tricked is more accurate – to leave retirement in Spring Lake, New Jersey, to take on a new case at quadruple pay.

But the big salary came with bigger problems. Listen to The Messenger in Episode Two titled I Would Not, Could Not, Wear My Hair Like That!

(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future fades under and out)

I wasn’t a human anymore. I was a program! And my old Boss made me look like an extra from from digital versions of Gulliver’s Travels.

“If you don’t get me out of here I will infect every computer and electronic device you own. Cell phones, microwave ovens, gaming systems, everything. Even your lava lamp. What are you doing? Don’t you turn me off. Did you hear me?”

For a little thing I was making big noises.

The Boss ignored me and continued: “Here’s the plan. You are going to Global United Conglomerate and working with Jason Lines and Laura Flow to save the client’s project.”

Vengeance was about to be mine. “How do I get there?” I said. “I can’t drive. And where’s my staff?”

The Boss grinned which is always a bad sign. “First, I send you to Jason and Laura.”

Before I could say Failed Delivery Attempt there was a WHOOOOSSH followed by a Ding! And a moment after that another Ding! The Boss had emailed me to Jason and Laura.

Both had instructions for initializing their own digital personal assistants or DPAs.

I yelled at The Boss: “DPA’s are not staff. Where’s my staff?”

The response was: “Check back in an hour.” Then silence.

Laura downloaded me and created FRED. I despise mustaches. And Jason downloaded me and created FRIEDA. For the record, I would not, could not wear my hair like that. Even when I was younger.

I was staffing for myself! Staffing for myself? Isn’t there a song with that name?

Then I heard the DPA versions of me.

FRED started: “Good morning, Laura. We have a lot to do. Shall we review the operations strategy?”

Laura sighed and said, “Whatever. You figure it out and get back to me.”

FRED scurried away inside the computer systems of Global Conglomerate.

Three floors away, FRIEDA spoke: “Hello, Jason. These are the approvals required for the new product launch.” Nothing. She repeated, “Jason, there is a long list of approvals requiring your attention. Many are a month overdue.”

Jason mumbled about taking a break.

FRIEDA rushed off to the DPA’s lounge.

Meanwhile, Laura and Jason sat in their respective offices and wallowed in their success at Global United Conglomerate. Both were disappointed.

Emails arrived for each of them – Ding! Ding! – and both were excited.

In a nanosecond, FRED was back and asked Laura, “That sounds like fun. Are you going?” In another nanosecond, FRIEDA left the DPA lounge with a similar question for Jason: “A night out! Shall I reply ‘Yes’?”

Laura and Jason scaled back their enthusiasm and casually instructed their DPA’s to talk with other team members and come back in an hour. Dutifully, FRIEDA and FRED made electronic rounds throughout the company.

Without their digital assistants’ awareness, Laura and Jason consumed the emails. Colleagues were planning get-togethers. No talk of the looming product launch. No talk of business. Just dinner and the company of colleagues and friends.

Both were poised to press the Accept buttons and froze. Both wanted friendship and camaraderie but neither knew exactly how to pursue those objectives.

Jason, the company’s best designer and recognized around the world, feared human interaction.

Laura, the most promoted operations executive at Global United, shrank at the prospect of stepping out from behind her spreadsheets.

Both craved conversation outside of their areas of expertise. Something as simple as “Have you heard this new song?” or “Have you seen this new television show?” would have been life-affirming.

I was yelling with my little voice emulator: blip-blip-blip-blip-bleep-bloop-bloop-bloop-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-blip-blip-blip-bloop. Translated that meant: “Press the Accept button. In the name of keyboards and high resolution monitors everywhere, press the Accept button!”

But they were terrified at the prospect of showing even the slightest bit of themselves. Each pressed Decline and stared out their windows.

I wanted to give them hugs but my digital self had no arms.

(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future comes up)

You have just listened to Episode Two of Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future.

Music is through the courtesy of LESFM.

William Spear wrote and narrated the series and The Three Fifty-seven produced it.

Thank you for listening and come back for the next episode when The Messenger asks, “Is the dust bothering anyone’s eye? Wait a moment. Do you think I’m crying? I’m not crying. You must be crying. I hope nothing short circuits in here.”

(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future comes up and fades out)

William E. Spear, Jr.