Written and Narrated by William E. Spear
Produced by The Three Fifty-seven
17 February 2024
(Footsteps approach and go under)
Hello. I’m The Messenger. Imagine a “fixer” or an “auditor” but more intelligent. When I make a visit, an encounter-of-the-cerebral-kind is forthcoming.
A while back I came out of retirement and rescued Jim and Francine’s Place, a diner started in the early 1950’s, from an ill-advised grandkid.
My old Boss called me again for another job and started yapping about an assistant.
I said I don’t need an assistant and my old Boss corrected me: “You aren’t ‘getting’ an assistant.”
“That’s more like it. What’s the job?”
The Boss looked around, leaned across a desk bigger than most cars, and said: “You are ‘becoming’ an assistant.”
(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future comes up and goes under)
Hello my name is William Spear and this is our new series titled ROMANCE 20 MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE.
We welcome back The Messenger from retirement in Spring Lake, New Jersey to take on a new case.
It’s The Messenger in Episode One titled No, No, No, No! A Thousand Times, A Million Times, A Bazillion Times No.
I stared at my Boss and growled: “What do you mean I’m ‘becoming’ an assistant?”
“Just what I said,” was the response. “You’re new job is to be an assistant. And you have a staff.”
“Not happening.”
“You’ve always wanted a staff.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Lots of perks.”
“No.”
“It’s all office work.”
“No!”
“You don’t have to drive.”
“No! No! No! A thousand times, a million times, a bazillion times NO!”
“It’s twice your normal rate.”
“Tell me more.”
“The client is Global United Conglomerate. Makes everything from kitchen cabinets to seaweed ice cream. They have a massive project that has stalled just before launch.”
I was suspicious about “twice my normal rate” and asked, “Why are you paying me double?”
“It’s one of our most prestigious clients and you are our best Messenger. And . . .” The Boss whispered, “You and your staff are working for two people.”
I refused and started for the door. “Okay, okay,” said The Boss. “Quadruple pay.”
I could add a hot tub to my place in Spring Lake on quadruple pay. I could add a hot tub for every day of the week on quadruple pay. Without turning around I asked who was I working for.
The Boss riffed through pages and read: “The company believes the stalled project is being sabotaged by one of two people. Jason Lines – A successful, hard-working introverted designer who fears human contact. Or, Laura Flow – A brilliant and driven operations executive whose best friends are spreadsheets.”
I agreed to quadruple pay and turned around to seal the deal when a massive bolt of electricity struck me between the eyes.
I woke up behind a huge window looking around the boss’ office. I didn’t feel anything. No hot, no cold, and no smells either. Out of nowhere a giant-sized version of the Boss sat down in front of the window.
“How’d you get to be so big?” I asked.
The Boss laughed and told me I had it backwards. I had been digitized and was inside of a computer.
I looked around and saw the wires, connectors, and microchips of a computer. I wasn’t a human anymore. I was a program!
I tried to shake a fist but didn’t have one. The Boss laughed some more. I screamed through the computer.
(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future comes up and goes under)
You have just listened to Episode One of Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future.
Music is through the courtesy of LESFM.
The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.
Thank you for listening and come back again when The Messenger yells, “If you don’t get me out of here I will infect every electronic device you own. Cell phones, microwave ovens, gaming systems, everything. . . . Wait. Wait! WAIT! What are you doing? Don’t you dare turn me off. Don’t you-“
(Theme for Romance 20 Minutes Into The Future comes up and fades out)
WESJr
Clay Track Press 