Clay Track Press

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 05

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Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 05

ORIGINAL DATE: 29 August 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello. Welcome to The 3:57 and our series IT SUITS HER. I am the host William Spear.

In the last episode, Maxie tried lying to get his suit but Celia was having none of that. Round one went to her but he is determined to withstand her verbal onslaught.

The tailoring shop is full of fireworks for Episode Five of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Celia continued harshly: “We are closed and you need to leave!”

Maxie picked himself up from being flattened by the 9:02 Celia Express: “Wait just one moment. I am Argosy Williams.”

“Argosy Jones?” asked Celia.

Maxie winced from her getting his last name wrong: “It’s Williams. Argosy Williams and I require my suit – tonight.”

Celia returned his volley: “I am Celia. Celia Court and I require you to leave – now.”

“I need my suit to audition for a play,” said Maxie

Once again Celia outmaneuvered her opponent: “I need you to exit stage left . . . or else.”

“Or else, what?” was Maxie’s steely response.

Celia declared her intent to call the police.

Maxie’s re-stated intention of not leaving without his suit was met with Celia brandishing her phone like a ninja sword.

Having failed at regrouping, Maxie tried defusing: “Now there’s no need for that, Miss . . . uh-?”

Celia cut him off: “I just told you. I am Celia Court. My friends call me Ceel.”

He interpreted the offered nickname as a thaw in her demeanor: “I am Argosy Maxwell Williams. My friends call me Maxie. Pleased to meet you Ceel.”

He was not rewarded for his efforts.

Only her friends could call her Ceel, she promised, and Maxie was no friend.

Maxie stomped his size eight-and-one half custom-made leather shoes for emphasis: “Young lady, I am Argosy Williams.”

“I’ve still never heard of Argosy Jones,” she said.

He slammed his forehead into the palm of his hand muttering. “Williams, Williams, Williams.”

“Leave, leave, leave,” encouraged Celia.

“But I am Argosy Jones!”

“I thought you said your name was Argosy Williams,” Celia noted with a sly smile.

Maxie realized Celia had reduced his attack into pretzel logic and responded with a primal: “Ahhhhhhhh!!!!”

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Five of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin. Additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 04

~~

Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 04

ORIGINAL DATE: 22 August 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello and welcome to The 3:57 by William E. Spear. My name is William Spear and this is our series IT SUITS HER.

Last time, Maxie was trying to pick up his suit and arrived moments after the tailoring shop closed. Celia was trying to save her job and demanded he leave at once.

Sit back and enjoy the slugfest of Episode Four in . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Maxie was pleading his case: “I have an appointment tonight.”

Celia’s judgement was swift and unsympathetic: “The shop is closed.”

Maxie countered with this was the earliest he could get here.

Celia countered his counter with his earliest was exactly two minutes after closing and good night.

Her cell phone rang and she turned away. Maxie mapped out his strategy.

Celia finished her call and turned back but her tormentor was still there.

With his future hanging by a thread, he did the only honorable and mature thing he could imagine. He lied.

Without pause or hesitation, he said he was a close friend of the owner of the establishment.

This appeared to make a difference to her. “Really? You know Mr., uh, . . .?”

“Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. . . . Did I say yes?” asked Maxie.

Celia assured him he did.

“We go back many, many, many, many years,” bragged Maxie.

“Really?” gushed Celia as if she was talking with a movie star.

“In fact,” he said. “I helped him start the business.”

Celia was even more amazed. “You? You helped Mr. Higgins start Fit Rite tailors?”

“Yes,” he assured her. “And “good old Higgie” said Fit Rite would always be open for me.”

“Well, any friend of “good old Higgie” deserves our best.”

Maxie was pleased with these developments and let her know: “I will be sure to speak favorably the next time I see him.”

Celia let loose her trap. “NOT! In the first place, the owner is Jack Clarkson and not “good old Higgie”.”

Maxie fought, but failed, to get in a word. He would have been more successful sprouting wings and flying to his appointment.

Celia’s verbal freight train picked up speed: “In the second place, the shop is named Smart Styles not Fit Rite.”

Maxie conceded defeat and asked about his suit.

Celia closed in to finish off her prey: “And in the third place, we are closed. Good night!”

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Four of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin. Additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 03

~~

Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 03

ORIGINAL DATE: 15 August 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello and welcome to The 3:57 by William E. Spear. I am the host, William Spear and this is our series IT SUITS HER.

Please accept apologies for not being here last week. I had an allergic reaction to my milkshake and had a terrible headache for three days.

In my absence, Celia temporarily dispatched her boyfriend. Now she’s squaring off with Mr. Clarkson.

And, the oft-referenced Maxie Williams is preparing to enter the fray.

So let the games begin.

This is Episode Three of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Mr. Clarkson whined: “Who will close the store?” That was Celia’s opening.

“I’m on that, sir,” she said. The “sir” reference pretty much sealed the deal.

“Okay,” he lectured half-heartedly. “But we need to discuss you talking on your phone.”

“Not now, sir, you have to go,” she said. “Call me. Later.”

Clarkson gathered his belongings and conceded: “Alright but close the store after I leave.”

Absolutely, sir. Absolutely, she assured him. “Hurry, sir. Hurry!”

He scurried away saying, “I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying. Good night Miss Court.”

She waved goodbye as the night enveloped him. Her phone rang twice. Time for round two.

“Hello? . . . No, no, no, he’s gone; I can talk. . . . Hey, it sounds like a great party. I’ll be there when I finish. . . . No, I can’t go out for a midnight dinner, I’m opening the shop tomorrow. . . . Wait a moment. You sound angry. . . . But I need this job. I don’t have a father taking me to Singapore for holiday vacation. . . . Whatever, I’m late closing the shop and have to go. Goodbye.”

Celia hung up and pledged she would never talk to another guy.

That’s when a slightly winded Argosy “Maxie” Williams burst into the shop and said, “Just made it.”

Celia recalled her oath saying, “That’s the shortest “Never” in the history of “Nevers”.”

Maxie, still short of breath, straightened, and asked, “Excuse me?”

We are closed was her response.

He protested: “But my suit’s in here . . .” When he saw all the garments he added a bewildered, “. . . Somewhere.”

Celia was not sympathetic: “You’ll have to come back in the morning.”

“I have an appointment tonight,” was Maxie’s plea.

“The shop is closed,” she repeated.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Three of IT SUITS HER.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin. Additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES

By
William E. Spear

Volume 2, Issue 02

~~

Full Transcript –

IT SUITS HER, Episode 02

ORIGINAL DATE: 8 August 2023

(Theme for It Suits Her comes up)

Hello and shhhh. It’s me Celia and there are a few changes in this episode.

It is still The 3:57 by William E. Spear and this is still our series titled IT SUITS HER. But, surprise, surprise. I am your host – the “her” in IT SUITS HER – Celia Court.

I gave Spear the night off. He needed the rest.

Besides, the story’s about me. I work in the tailoring shop. I trade jabs over the phone with my boyfriend and I spar with my boss, Mr. Clarkson.

The story’s about me. But don’t worry, Maxie Williams is still coming for his suit.

And – fair warning – he is is easily the most obstinate . . . the most infuriating . . . the most annoying person I have ever met.

A lot like my father. Which is not a flattering comparison.

For now, let me duel with Mr. Clarkson.

And this is Episode Two of . . . IT SUITS HER.

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

Mr. Clarkson was pacing back and forth with both hands behind his back. He must’ve been a lawyer earlier in his life.

“Miss Court,” he said while addressing a jury of tailored garments. “Miss Court, based upon your own your words in the matter of you on your cell phone for the eleventh time in your shift, you leave me no choice but to . . .”

With my job on the line and my future hanging in the balance, I did the only honorable and mature thing I could imagine. I lied. With the defiance of a resistance fighter I coolly and calmly said that I was talking with Mrs. Clarkson.

My boss blinked his eyes in confusion as if I had spoken in a language not heard for several hundred years. It was his turn to stutter and stammer.

“You?” he said. “Tou were talking with Mrs. Clarkson?”

“Is there an echo in here?” I replied.

“Miss Court.”

My most respectful and least sincere smile was flashed, “Yes, sir. I was speaking with her.”

Clarkson steeled himself and called my bluff: “I don’t believe you.”

I casually let loose with, “Well when she calls back I’ll tell her you didn’t listen.”

He stood there not entirely certain what to think. “Did Mrs. Clarkson really call you?”

Yes, I told him. She wanted to make sure you were still coming home early like you talked about.

Confusion was giving way to doubt. “I don’t remember talking . . .”

Time to double my bet: “She was really adamant that I remind you and – holy smokes! – look at the time. You have to get home.”

His feebly objected: “Who will close the store?”

(Theme for Smart Styles Tailoring Shop fades up and under)

You’ve just listened to Episode Two of IT SUITS HER starring me Celia Court.

Series theme is through the courtesy of Michael Kobrin. Additional music is by Lesfm. Both are at PixaBay.

The Three Fifty-seven is written and produced by William Spear but performed by me, Celia Court.

Thank you for listening.

(Theme for It Suits Her fades up and out)

WES